Menjadi Diriku-Be Myself.

Menjadi diriku by Edcoustic.

I am what I am now. I'm a reality of what I am now and I'm not some1 else. I'm shaped to be like this. well, actually I'm a mere piece of what I imagined I wanna be. Yes, I want to be perfect and much more specific a Man of Power. Indeed, I myself seek power because I wanted to protect myself and the 1 I love which most likely my family. But somehow I realize that it wasn't easy as 1,2,3 in order to achieve that. Truly, I'm just a mere student & son who aren't capable of doing many things I really hope I could do.

I'm not perfect.

A simple statement which makes an excuse or explain why we make mistakes. MISTAKES... How long will my life be engulfed by that word. Well, I am me. I'm not you. That's the difference. I accept myself as what I am. I am a man full of weaknesses and mistakes. So, I trained myself to overcome that. I want to be strong as what I see in others. I will be!!! So, no more mistakes.

Perfectionist

Frankly, I'm happy and contented with what I have now, but somehow I can sense a hole in me. Black and deep hole which makes me try to be a perfectionist. Yes, every1 should know and have these and those things including me. Therefore, I tried to approach that. But being a perfectionist also have some backlash to me. I can't really handle complex emotional reasoning or feeling. I'm just like a robot or 'android.' I understand thing with reason. everything must satisfy a certain quality of reason and limit for me to perceive it as truth. I can't really understand certain things in this world, but as I grew older I realize that I'm becoming more human. Feeling and Hope. Relationship and intimacy. Power and Knowledge. and a lot more. It's interesting!!! Experiences made me who I'm now. I might be bad or good at certain things, but 1 thing is undeniable. I'm becoming more matured or at least I hope so.

Truly We are Shaped by our Environment

Nature vs Nurture??? I prefer the nurture as what shaped who you are as you grew older. A student from the city  and a student from the village both perceive things or situation in different view. A rich student and a poor student are the same too. Their mind horizon are somehow limited by what they have experienced added up by the knowledge that they have. I myself once have low-self esteem unlike those rich student. At a time, I see myself as some1 who have less experienced and knowledge as compared to them. At that specific time, I was at the bottom of my life graph. I failed to see and understand the potential that I have. I only see what's concrete and logical abstract. My life was like a calculator. 1+1 must be equal to 2. Reasoning are so important to me until it turns me into what I'm now. Hmmm, it makes me wonder does my environment taught me to be like that ? Probably yes as uncertainties deals with life. My environment...My past...It's fragile.

I'm strong

Really ?...I wasn't sure yet as I see being strong as something concrete and a little logical abstract. Owh, how I wish and hope that I was some1 else or live in different environment. The least is having hope. Yes, I hope to be strong.

Make a Difference

That's the title of my blog as I see myself of wanted changes and different from others. Actually I'm already different and it just that I want the world to accept me as what I am. I am me.

 I AM ME.

When we plant a seed of a morning glory, it need soil, water, air and sunlight to grow; sprouted and finally bloom. That goes the same for me...I WILL BLOOM...but I do need other necessities like morning glory. I cannot be alone.

Strength and Spirit do not always come as your are alone, it also come because you have responsibilities to protect OTHERS including yourself. Mamoru !!!

'No matter how many times they wipe it out, we can always plant the flowers again.' INDEEd.